17 lines
949 B
Bash
Executable File
17 lines
949 B
Bash
Executable File
[ -f functions.sh ] && source functions.sh
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advice=(
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'If love hurts, move slightly to the left.'
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'When in doubt, mumble.'
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"Some people are like clouds, when they disappear it's a beautiful day."
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'If love hurts, it may be the wrong hole.'
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'If your girlfriend or spouce starts smoking, slow down a bit, and try a lubricant.'
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'Never sweat the petty stuff, but always pet the sweatty stuff.'
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'Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow?'
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"It's called diet because all the other four letter words were taken."
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'Friends are like condoms, they protect you when things get hard.'
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'Friends are like butt cheeks, when shit separates them they always come back together.'
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"There are three kinds of people in this world, those who can count, and those who can't"
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"Never judge a man 'til you have walked a mile in his shoes. That way, if he turns out to be an ass hole you have his shoes and are a mile away.")
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msg "$2" "$1: $(shuf -n1 -e "${advice[@]}")"
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