56 lines
2.4 KiB
Bash
Executable File
56 lines
2.4 KiB
Bash
Executable File
[ -f functions.sh ] && source functions.sh
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shift
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chan="$1"
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shift
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redneck() {
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echo -n "$*" | sed \
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-r -e "s/ass/ice/gI" \
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-e "s/(^| )finger( |,|\?|\.|!|$)/\1fanger\2/gI" \
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-e "s/(^| )thing( |,|\?|\.|!|$)/\1thang\2/gI" \
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-e "s/(.\w+)ink(.*)/\1ank\2/gI" \
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-e "s/(^| )A /\1uh /gI" \
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-e "s/(.*)i([^a|^e|^u|^ble|^ck|^ft|^ll|^ndo|^on|^ps|^s|^v].*)/\1ah\2/gI" \
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-e "s/(^| )I( |,|\?|\.|!|$)/\1Ah\2/g" \
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-e "s/(^| )(boy|dude|fellow|guy|man)([?s])( |,|\?|\.|!|$)/\1feller\3\4/gI" \
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-e "s/(^| )for( |,|\?|\.|!|$)/\1fer\2/gI" \
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-e "s/(^| )(hello|hey|hi|how's it going|hows it going)( |,|\?|\.|!|$)/\1howdy\3/gI" \
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-e "s/(^| )men( |,|\?|\.|!|$)/\1fellers\2/gI" \
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-e "s/(^| )get( |,|\?|\.|!|$)/\1git\2/gI" \
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-e "s/(^| )(appartment|cottage|house)( |,|\?|\.|!|$)/\1shack\3/gI" \
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-e "s/(^| )(god damn|goddam)( |,|\?|\.|!|$)/\1gol-durn\3/gI" \
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-e "s/(^| )damn( |,|\?|\.|!|$)/\1durn\2/gI" \
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-e "s/(^| )(am not|is not|isn't|are not|aren't|will not)( |,|\?|\.|!|$)/\1ain't\3/gI" \
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-e "s/(.*)backward(.*)/\1backerd\2/gI" \
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-e "s/(^| )bear( |,|\?|\.|!|$)/\1bar\2/gI" \
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-e "s/(^| )(cannot|can't)( |,|\?|\.|!|$)/\1cain't\3/gI" \
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-e "s/(^| )careful( |,|\?|\.|!|$)/\1kerful\2/gI" \
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-e "s/(^| )terrible( |,|\?|\.|!|$)/\1ter'ble\2/gI" \
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-e "s/(\w)ing( |,|\?|\.|!|$)/\1in'\2/gI" \
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-e "s/(\w)(i|ah)ght( |,|\?|\.|!|$)/\1aht'\3/gI" \
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-e "s/(^| )my /\1mah /gI" \
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-e "s/(^| )people( |,|\?|\.|!|$)/\1folks\2/gI" \
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-e "s/(^| )pretty( |,|\?|\.|!|$)/\1purdy\2/gI" \
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-e "s/(^| )sure( |,|\?|\.|!|$)/\1shore\2/gI" \
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-e "s/(^| )there( |,|\?|\.|!|$)/\1thar'\2/gI" \
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-e "s/(.*)window(.*)/\1windder\2/gI" \
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-e "s/(.*)where|we're(.*)/\1wer\2/gI" \
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-e "s/(^| )that( |,|\?|\.|!|$)/\1'at thar'\2/gI" \
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-e "s/(^| )this( |,|\?|\.|!|$)/\1'is here\2/gI" \
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-e "s/(^| )wash( |,|\?|\.|!|$)/\1wahrsh\2/gI" \
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-e "s/(^| )([bg])ah([g|t])( |,|\?|\.|!|'|$)/\1\2i\3\4/gI" \
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-e "s/(^| )aht( |,|\?|\.|!|'|$)/\1it\2/gI" \
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-e "s/(^| )(ahf|if)( |,|\?|\.|!|$)/\1iffen\3/gI" \
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-e "s/^[Yy]ou( |,|\.|\?\!|$)/Y'all\1/g"
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echo " $(shuf -n1 -e \
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"Hold Mah beer." \
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"You're darn tootn" \
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"Y'all come back now, ye'hear?" \
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"Yyyyyyeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaawwwwww!" \
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)"
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}
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msg "$chan" "$(redneck "$*")"
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