[ -f functions.sh ] && source functions.sh

shift
chan="$1"
shift

redneck() {
    echo -n "$*" | sed \
        -r -e "s/ass/ice/gI" \
        -e "s/(^| )finger( |,|\?|\.|!)/\1fanger\2/gI" \
        -e "s/(^| )thing( |,|\?|\.|!)/\1thang\2/gI" \
        -e "s/(^| )think( |,|\?|\.|!)/\1thank\2/gI" \
        -e "s/(^| )A /\1Uh /gI" \
        -e "s/(.*)i([^a|^e|^u|^ble|^ll|^ndo|^on|^s].*)/\1ah\2/gI" \
        -e "s/(^| )(boy|dude|fellow|guy|man)([?s])( |,|\?|\.|!)/\1feller\3\4/gI" \
        -e "s/(^| )for( |,|\?|\.|!)/\1fer\2/gI" \
        -e "s/(^| )men( |,|\?|\.|!)/\1fellers\2/gI" \
        -e "s/(^| )get( |,|\?|\.|!)/\1git\2/gI" \
        -e "s/(^| )(appartment|cottage|house)( |,|\?|\.|!)/\1shack\3/gI" \
        -e "s/(^| )(god damn|goddam)( |,|\?|\.|!)/\1gol-durn\3/gI" \
        -e "s/(^| )(am not|is not|isn't|are not|aren't|will not)( |,|\?|\.|!)/\1ain't\3/gI" \
        -e "s/(^| )(cannot|can't)( |,|\?|\.|!)/\1cain't\3/gI" \
        -e "s/(\w)ing( |,|\?|\.|!)/\1in'\2/gI" \
        -e "s/(\w)(i|ah)ght( |,|\?|\.|!)/\1aht'\3/gI" \
        -e "s/(^| )my /\1mah /gI" \
        -e "s/(^| )people( |,|\?|\.|!)/\1folks\2/gI" \
        -e "s/(.*)window(.*)/\1windder\2/gI" \
        -e "s/(.*)where(.*)/\1wer\2/gI" \
        -e "s/(^| )that( |,|\?|\.|!)/\1'at thar'\2/gI" \
        -e "s/(^| )this( |,|\?|\.|!)/\1'is here\2/gI" \
        -e "s/(^| )wash( |,|\?|\.|!)/\1wahrsh\2/gI" \
        -e "s/(^| )aht( |,|\?|\.|!|')/\1it\2/gI" \
        -e "s/(^| )(ahf|if)( |,|\?|\.|!)/\1iffen\3/gI" \
        -e "s/^[Yy]ou( |,|\.|\?\!|$)/Y'all\1/g"

echo " $(shuf -n1 -e \
    "Hold Mah beer." \
    "You're darn tootn" \
    "Y'all come back now, ye'hear?" \
    "Yyyyyyeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaawwwwww!" \
)"
}

msg "$chan" "$(redneck "$*")"